One of my best friends died on 28th October after a year battling with Cancer. This is an hateful disease, that takes away so many people and damages peoples’ lives.
(In the photo for this blog, Tom is the guy on the right, second in wearing glasses and glancing to his left.)
Tom was like the brother I didn’t have. We met when I started working in 1996, for Wiltshire Local Education Authority as the Music Adviser. He was the Science Adviser. We hit it off straight away and were soon the best of friends.
Tom wasn’t married, and I think many of our colleagues thought there was something more between us, but there never was. We just cared about each other deeply, as friends. I have always had boys/men as friends and it’s only now in my later life I have several girlfriends. My husband understood our relationship completely and was never the slightest bit jealous of any time I spent with Tom. In fact all three of us were friends.
Because I lived in Gloucestershire and often had to drive miles to get to schools in the south of Wiltshire, I used to stay at Tom’s for a few nights each week. This of course, probably added to the gossip’s ideas! Eventually my husband and I moved to Wiltshire so I didn’t have to travel.
You’d might think that we wouldn’t have much in common, him being a scientist and me a musician, but we were both educators; we also shared a sense of humour and an interest in people.
He was a phenomenal photographer, particularly of landscapes, and he introduced me to photography when digital cameras came to the fore. Each time he upgraded his equipment, he would sell me his older camera. Because of his input and encouragement, when I left education, I worked as a self-employed photographer for 12 years, so I’m forever grateful to Tom for that introduction.
As the Science Adviser Tom visited schools all over the county of Wiltshire, and his reputation as a wonderful educator grew not just all over the UK but also abroad. He was passionate about children’s learning – how they learn, and how you can open minds to possibilities. Listening to him talk and watching him teach was inspiring.
He was also head of the Assessment Team, which I also belonged to and this was an area where we could work together, especially when it came to running teaching and learning workshops for primary classroom teachers.
Outside of work along with my husband and other friends, we socialised. We regularly went abroad visiting some amazing places. We often went to Italy during half terms, along with a group of us, where we’d share a villa. We’d then spend our time visiting the area, taking lots of photos while our two partners (my husband, his girlfriend) would patiently wait for us to capture the images we were after.
He and I travelled to Tallin one winter to take photos of snow! It was fun, but incredibly cold. However, we did get the snowy photos we’d been after.
Along with my husband and Tom’s mum we went to Hong Kong. Thanks to a connection of Tom’s, (he had worked there before me), I had a week’s work in a British School in Hong Kong, and Tom, his mum and my husband came out to join me for a holiday. We had a wonderful time with Tom as our guide taking us around to visit the best places. Plus, we went on to Bangkok for a couple of days too.
A funny story linked to this trip was, that Betty, Tom’s mum hadn’t met many black people, and when Conrad picked them up at Tom’s and drove them to the airport, she assumed he was the taxi driver, so couldn’t understand why he was going along with them. During the holiday though, the two of them got on like a house on fire – and we had an amazing time there.
Another funny situation on that trip was when we flew to Bangkok for a couple of days, arriving at the hotel late at night. It took us almost an hour to book in.
Because unlike us in the West, their moral standards are different they had made assumptions about the sleeping arrangements. Tom – Dr. Robson was sharing a room with Mrs Robson (unsurprisingly); Mr McDermott – Conrad and now my husband, was in a room on his own and me, Mrs Fletcher, sharing a room with Tom’s friend Pat. They weren’t used to unwed people sleeping together, so we caused havoc! Eventually, Betty had her own room, I was with Conrad, and Tom joined his friend – well he hoped he was going to, and not turning up in a completely wrong room in the middle of the night! Lol
Tom, his mum and an ex-pupil of his and I went to the US for two weeks too. We travelled to Los Angeles, and then drove to San Francisco, Carmel, Monterey, Yosemite, San Diego and other places in between. It was one of the only two times I’ve been to the States. Conrad, my husband chose not to go, but as soon as I’d left, he wished he had!
There are so many stories that spring to mind when I think about Tom so he’ll always be invading my mind.
Our last holiday with Tom was to Sicily quite a few years ago now, and not long after that, he moved up to the Northeast, which is where he was from. He was nearer his family who were always so important to him.
It was only August 2023 when he got in touch to tell me he had been diagnosed with Ampullary cancer, and it had spread to his liver and lungs. They gave him 3 months without treatment, and a little longer with treatment. He got many more months. Sadly, I didn’t get to see him due to many reasons, but I was heart-broken when his niece got in touch to tell me he had passed.
Tom will always be in my heart, not only for the funny things that happened over the years (and they are numerous), but the great discussive arguments we often had! For his absolutely brilliant brain and incredible teaching skills that he shared with not only me, but the many thousands of children and teachers that he crossed his path. He had a talent and skill for raising people’s spirits and confidence so that everyone felt loved and special.
The world has a hole, as does my heart as he is no longer here, but he will always be remembered.
Dr Tom Robson made his mark on the life of everyone he met.
RIP my wonderful friend.